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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: July 10th, 2025

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  • FUCK.

    Normally, I’m a measured man, save some for later I tell myself. There’s always more listeria and if I had a dime for every salmonella salad recall I’d be able to afford eggs and coffee right now. But this time, this time seemed different. Radioactive Walmart shrimp. Surely, this was going to be a one time thing. Time to open the hatch, I thought. Drop all my jokes at once, get them out while they’re still fresh. Last thing you want is rotten radioactive shrimp jokes, you’ll never escape the stink of that, might as well delete your account and start over at that point.

    So, I blew my load the first round. Spent all my jokes on the radioactive Great Value shrimp from Walmart like a fool. And now I got nothing new. Just recycled radioactive shrimp jokes. And some kind of weird lump in my throat. Too bad I can’t afford to have a doctor check that out.





  • InvalidName2@lemmy.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldRubidium
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    5 days ago

    Mary was said to be a virgin when she had Jesus. So, that’s clearly the first and only known occurrence of parthenogenesis in humans.

    Mary could have had X and Y chromosomes, but then she wouldn’t have been able to carry a pregnancy without hormone treatment that didn’t exist in those days. So, we know factually that she would have only had X chromosomes (even if she had a abnormality like XXX).

    Therefore, baby Jesus only had X chromosomes. This means either Jesus was intersex (ex: XX male) or Jesus was transgender. It’s in the bible. QED






  • I kind of agree with the general sentiment that maybe they should have selected an outsider. The DEI bullshit wasn’t just a “whoopsie” and Target has been declining for years, even if there was a lag in the official numbers.

    It’s been a long time since I looked at Target and saw a strategy other than “let’s wait and see what Walmart’s doing and then just do that”. Generally speaking, people who shop at Walmart expect (and in some perverse way demand) an ever shittier experience and drop in quality. I just don’t foresee a continuation of Target’s strategy from the past decade or so being a realistic long term strategy. Walmart, Amazon, and Dollar General will be the way of retail at this pace.

    Granted, I’m not Target’s target audience. I used to buy a lot of clothes there, then the quality on that dropped while prices shot up, so I just stopped. And I used to use their e-commerce site more often when they didn’t have third party sellers, but once they added those, there was no longer any differentiating or compelling reason to go there other than to buy something I could get $2 cheaper at Walmart, $4 cheaper on Amazon, or $8 cheaper on Temu.






  • I think the US state of Georgia must have some of the least restrictive laws when it comes to inspections, at least in the south east. Every time I drive through that state, I see shit almost exactly like this. Bumpers hanging off cars scraping on the road. Hood and/or trunk lids held down by tape. 0 functional lights on the back of the vehicle. Windshields smashed to all heck and back, no way anybody can see out of that. Rear view mirrors without the mirrors. 3 doughnut tires, driving 80 mph (129 kph) down the interstate. I’ve seen it all, and I don’t even live there.