Was the Reddit version of this community like this with people coming in to ‘both sides’ the conversation? I don’t think it was like this. Lemmy has a real problem with people just not caring about what the community is before they come in to drop their hot their hot takes. I’ve even seen people go into !reddit@lemmy.world to complain about people posting about Reddit. I mean, come on.
As for that 18% of violent crimes being committed by women stat, that still means 82% of the perpetrators were men, so that’s hardly the pwn it was made out to be. It’s grasping at straws to keep ignoring that there’s any problem.
Man here. It took me a lot of therapy and help to understand that my (or someone’s) suffering doesn’t mean less just because there are a lot of others who are suffering more.
I used to say crap like this too, if someone said ‘X group of people have this problem’. I’d be like ‘but Y has the same problem but to higher extent’. I didn’t say it out of malice, at least I don’t think so. lt was natural to think ‘how can you be complaning about X when Y has the same problem but more’. Maybe I just believed that first you address the problem with bigger statistical number, then we do the smaller one after that and so on, but I dont know. I know now, that is a shitty way to think about things.
I guess it has something to do with how I was raised, ‘your problems aren’t that great, there are people with bigger problems and in comparison your life is a luxury. So chin up and carry on’. And I lived by it and parroted the same rhetoric for a long time. I believe most people (men?) do the same not out of malice but because of this shitty view of life and the world, because how they were raised, because how people told them how their problem can be ignored because someone else has a bigger problem. and they don’t know any better. At least I didn’t for a long time.
I think that the motivation behind it is very simple: no one gives a shit about what I go through, why should I give a shit what you go through?
I’m not saying it’s right, but there is a twisted logic to it and there are certain societal factors at play that do make it seem true (like young boys being much more likely to be suspended or expelled from school).
Again, I’m not saying we should stop fighting for women’s rights — rights for one are rights for all. I’m just saying, understanding instead of trivializing will be what leads all of us out of this mess.
You can’t just declare an entire gender incel/sexist and not expect backlash from the righterous kind of people. Why is everyone surprised when people become outraged just because they get labeled just for being a certain gender?
That’s the tricky thing. Incels tend to react and oust themselves, so any pro-male argument gets labeled as well, incel. Would be hilarious if it where not horrifying, because there’s “final solutions” being suggested for men. Similar to what is happening with Israel labeling anyone arguing against their genocide as being anti-semitic, using their victimhood to get away with whatever they want.
Having said that yeah, even I had a lot of bad experiences with men as a man. I don’t want to hear your “grab her by the pussy shit”, most of my misanthropy comes from my male friends and family downplaying my problems as insignificant. We aren’t talking about mere pain, or not being able to get some luxury. We are talking permanent, unfixable things I am worried about, things that are essential to me, getting downplayed. They want me to sell out who I am, and be happy with their pointless material decadence. Then, they call me a fucking pussy for not wanting to fall into that trap. I hate this sick, psychopathic world, it deserves nothing!
Forgive me if I’m wrong but it sounds like you aren’t angry at the world, you’re angry at people. I’d be willing to bet you love the natural world, and hate people for denying that they’re a part of a cycle that we all share. For claiming godhood whilst piously masquerading. Burning Eden while God sleeps.
I wouldn’t blame you, if that’s the truth. There are many people who deserve to be hated. The issue with hate, though, is that it’s very toxic. Righteous hatred begets genuine, blind hatred. You won’t even realize that you’re hating things that don’t even really deserve to be hated, simply because they might be tangentially associated with things you justifiably hate. They may not even be associated, it could just be that it reminds you of something you hate — and thus you hate it.
I don’t know what the path out of this mess is for all of us, but it begins and ends with hate. We either learn to put aside the hate or it will immolate all of us from the inside out. This is our only real option. I’m sorry you’ve experienced it, I hope the experience changed you to understand that we’re all in this together. Even the people you hate.
I used to be an I want to shield everyone under my wings type of person. A.k.a want to be friends with pretty much everyone, and help everyone. Also, I despise the natural world, as I see it as what is, and not what should be. Nature is the filter that is left when you throw in total chaos, and something emerges from it. The things that are better at maintaining their existence, tend to exist more. It is also random, and chaotic despite this. In other words, nature is not perfect, it is not some supernatural good. It is a sign that there is no intelligent life managing the universe.
What we need is intelligent life to manage everything in a benevolent way. A.k.a what humans should and could have been. Animals eat their own children, prioritize slight convenience for themselves over massive suffering of their prey, starting to eat a prey from the balls first, so on.
Was the Reddit version of this community like this with people coming in to ‘both sides’ the conversation? I don’t think it was like this. Lemmy has a real problem with people just not caring about what the community is before they come in to drop their hot their hot takes. I’ve even seen people go into !reddit@lemmy.world to complain about people posting about Reddit. I mean, come on.
As for that 18% of violent crimes being committed by women stat, that still means 82% of the perpetrators were men, so that’s hardly the pwn it was made out to be. It’s grasping at straws to keep ignoring that there’s any problem.
I’ll also just leave this here:
Man here. It took me a lot of therapy and help to understand that my (or someone’s) suffering doesn’t mean less just because there are a lot of others who are suffering more.
I used to say crap like this too, if someone said ‘X group of people have this problem’. I’d be like ‘but Y has the same problem but to higher extent’. I didn’t say it out of malice, at least I don’t think so. lt was natural to think ‘how can you be complaning about X when Y has the same problem but more’. Maybe I just believed that first you address the problem with bigger statistical number, then we do the smaller one after that and so on, but I dont know. I know now, that is a shitty way to think about things.
I guess it has something to do with how I was raised, ‘your problems aren’t that great, there are people with bigger problems and in comparison your life is a luxury. So chin up and carry on’. And I lived by it and parroted the same rhetoric for a long time. I believe most people (men?) do the same not out of malice but because of this shitty view of life and the world, because how they were raised, because how people told them how their problem can be ignored because someone else has a bigger problem. and they don’t know any better. At least I didn’t for a long time.
It’s just All Lives Matter again isn’t it? They don’t care, they just want you to stop talking about it.
I think that the motivation behind it is very simple: no one gives a shit about what I go through, why should I give a shit what you go through?
I’m not saying it’s right, but there is a twisted logic to it and there are certain societal factors at play that do make it seem true (like young boys being much more likely to be suspended or expelled from school).
Again, I’m not saying we should stop fighting for women’s rights — rights for one are rights for all. I’m just saying, understanding instead of trivializing will be what leads all of us out of this mess.
deleted by creator
You can’t just declare an entire gender incel/sexist and not expect backlash from the righterous kind of people. Why is everyone surprised when people become outraged just because they get labeled just for being a certain gender?
deleted by creator
That’s the tricky thing. Incels tend to react and oust themselves, so any pro-male argument gets labeled as well, incel. Would be hilarious if it where not horrifying, because there’s “final solutions” being suggested for men. Similar to what is happening with Israel labeling anyone arguing against their genocide as being anti-semitic, using their victimhood to get away with whatever they want.
Having said that yeah, even I had a lot of bad experiences with men as a man. I don’t want to hear your “grab her by the pussy shit”, most of my misanthropy comes from my male friends and family downplaying my problems as insignificant. We aren’t talking about mere pain, or not being able to get some luxury. We are talking permanent, unfixable things I am worried about, things that are essential to me, getting downplayed. They want me to sell out who I am, and be happy with their pointless material decadence. Then, they call me a fucking pussy for not wanting to fall into that trap. I hate this sick, psychopathic world, it deserves nothing!
Forgive me if I’m wrong but it sounds like you aren’t angry at the world, you’re angry at people. I’d be willing to bet you love the natural world, and hate people for denying that they’re a part of a cycle that we all share. For claiming godhood whilst piously masquerading. Burning Eden while God sleeps.
I wouldn’t blame you, if that’s the truth. There are many people who deserve to be hated. The issue with hate, though, is that it’s very toxic. Righteous hatred begets genuine, blind hatred. You won’t even realize that you’re hating things that don’t even really deserve to be hated, simply because they might be tangentially associated with things you justifiably hate. They may not even be associated, it could just be that it reminds you of something you hate — and thus you hate it.
I don’t know what the path out of this mess is for all of us, but it begins and ends with hate. We either learn to put aside the hate or it will immolate all of us from the inside out. This is our only real option. I’m sorry you’ve experienced it, I hope the experience changed you to understand that we’re all in this together. Even the people you hate.
I used to be an I want to shield everyone under my wings type of person. A.k.a want to be friends with pretty much everyone, and help everyone. Also, I despise the natural world, as I see it as what is, and not what should be. Nature is the filter that is left when you throw in total chaos, and something emerges from it. The things that are better at maintaining their existence, tend to exist more. It is also random, and chaotic despite this. In other words, nature is not perfect, it is not some supernatural good. It is a sign that there is no intelligent life managing the universe.
What we need is intelligent life to manage everything in a benevolent way. A.k.a what humans should and could have been. Animals eat their own children, prioritize slight convenience for themselves over massive suffering of their prey, starting to eat a prey from the balls first, so on.