WASHINGTON—Claiming the luminous potion would make the nation strong and vigorous, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued an order Friday directing all Americans to drink a mysterious glowing liquid. “In order to end the chronic disease epidemic in this country, it is imperative that every man, woman, and child take a large […]
What’s with that last line, though? I think it ruins the joke.
onion articles are best if you just read the title. They published a book of just the titles because even they know that’s where 99% of the humor is and the article is usually just bludgeoning the joke to death.
From past reading, their authoring process is to make up funny titles, and pick a few to turn into an article. So it’s really optimized for the title.
I dunno, some of them are pretty fantastic as a full read.
https://theonion.com/it-is-journalism-s-sacred-duty-to-endanger-the-lives-of-1850126997/
okay that one is better than average but i am very biased towards liking it and i still think it could be cut in half, its like flogging the joke too much is part of the joke with them. thanks for that one though it made me chuckle for sure.