idk just a random scenario stuck in my head
- You retain all intelligence.
- You must have confirmation yourself that your message reached the president.
- You can’t pick human as your animal.
- The president as referring to Joe Biden. Other country presidents are accepted though.
Why would you want to turn back?
Parrot, probably the African Grey. Because you can talk. Being a talking bird with a heck of a vocabulary asking to get a message to the president is probably going to get the White House social media office’s attention, and maybe then the president.
Kinda cheating, but that would probably work.
OP said you retain your own intelligence, so I don’t see why a parrot would be any better than any animal with lips and vocal chords that could theoretically support humanlike speech.
oh but that’s basically only humans. our mouths are one of our fairly unique features.
Humans and birds. Crows can speak too apparently.
I’d become a loving purring cat and would look for a household that would treat me like I treat my cats right now. They’re the 1% of the animal kingdom, might as well get the animal life I won’t ever get as a human. Not even trying once to do the president quest.
Raccoon. Live new life as trash panda, never turn back.
I’d be the President’s dog. And then I’d just need to get their attention at that point, so I’ll keep biting his secret service agents until finally they start to wonder what’s up. It shouldn’t take more than 3 or 4 bites for people to realize I’m trying to send a message, right?
Or you find out where Fort Rainbow Bridge is after one.
The joke is the president’s dog has already bitten dozens of agents.
I guess my current events detox is working to some degree.
Id become a bird. Id fly around for the rest of my life.
Wait why was I a bird again?
Can the message be rude? Because if so, hornet.
I was thinking pigeon, but I suppose yours works too…
Great ape.
Learn sign language.Couldn’t you just draw in the sand with a stick? I think if there’s an ape who’s fluent in English handwriting that would make it to the news pretty fast.
Planet of the Humans
Dog. Go around being surprisingly helpful to people, become famous, visit President, write message very clumsily with a pencil in my mouth, sell rights to movie, profit.
This is the Rick and Morty episode where rick becomes a turkey to get pardoned isnt it?
I ain’t sending jack shit! I’m staying as a dog forever!
I’m turning into a red panda, forgetting all about the president, and living my best life: eating fruit, lazing about, getting tons of cuddles for being cute and smart 🙂
Plot twist: You don’t live in a zoo or as a pet. You are in the wild forests of South West China that are being logged. You run for your life as your habitat is being destroyed.
I love how 80% of the comments are “Fuck the president, I want to be an animal!”
I don’t disagree.
My country’s president is clearly heading towards dementia. I’d be a crow, they can just speak, so I’d simply fly to him and tell him. He’d probably believe me, no questions asked.
I’d turn into a big old land tortoise and then just be a turtle.
Benefits:
- strong shell
- feets for marching
- cute tail bump
- adorable smile
- can flip friends over when they need help
- turtle
