If you just say “trans man” at a bunch of people, a significant portion of them will think you mean “a man who has decided they are trans and wants to be a woman”. Because recognizing the gender someone identifies as is catering to their delusion or whatever bigots tell themselves to get by.
Before all the recent hullabaloo in recent years, I couldn’t remember which meant which way - because I could give two fucks - just let them be who they are.
Now I’ve had to learn a lot (which I don’t resent learning) so I can help stand up for their rights, and it’s really easy to remember. But it’s sort of like “biweekly” or “semiweekly” before you actually pay attention - both of those terms mean both something that happens twice per week or once every other week (although I tihnk biweekly more strongly implies twice per week, but it can absolutely be used for both).
I suppose that’s true that even people who aren’t necessarily bigots can struggle to understand what being trans is. My boomer parents aren’t transphobic, but they do struggle with the concept that when a person realizes they’re trans it retroactively means that they were always the gender they currently go by, even if they themselves didn’t know it at the time. I got into an argument with my dad when he kept calling the child of someone he knew “he” when talking about her in the past before she came out as trans. I tried to explain that, no, she was a she then as well, but didn’t know it herself and presented as a he, but he just didn’t get it.
I have a girlfriend who is trans and I knew her in the “before time” before she transitioned. When she talks about when she was a kid she refers to herself as “when I was a little girl”.
It must be so confusing for those kids. Their society, parents, relatives tell them one thing. But in their head they know they are another. My heart goes out to them.
Yeah. I’m married to a non binary person (we’re Poly, hence the girlfriend) and they didn’t change their name or gender markers until after we were married. But them describing to me about their childhood, their parents (who I adore but still struggle with the whole gender thing) and everything… Seeing their baby pictures they’re like “THAT’S NOT A GIRL! THAT’S TOTALLY IN BETWEEN!” and they’re right.
I’m just happy they can truly be themselves with me.
In the defense of your father that could also be down to how his brain categorizes things. Just as an example for myself, the actor Elliot Page technically has two different “entries” in my brain which if I could verbalize would be something along the lines of Ellen Page = Dead override Elliot Page = Alive, why is my brain doing it like that? Who knows, it’s probably the autism, but it does keep me from dead naming him.
A lot of people are still just not familiar with the terminology surrounding all things trans.
If you just say “trans man” many of them don’t go into a weird mental gymnastics session to justify their prejudice, they just go “which one was that again?”.
I’ve been there myself a few years ago and since I learned have explained it to several people who couldn’t be further from bigots, they were just not in much personal contact with trans people.
Sorry I didn’t mean to say that anyone who doesn’t know the difference is a bigot, I meant to say that the general public’s lack of awareness about what means what is due to bigots intentionally using the wrong gender or terminology any chance they get. They’re muddying the waters.
Isn’t that what “trans man” means?
They gotta dumb it down for people, it’s a good thing for informing.
If you just say “trans man” at a bunch of people, a significant portion of them will think you mean “a man who has decided they are trans and wants to be a woman”. Because recognizing the gender someone identifies as is catering to their delusion or whatever bigots tell themselves to get by.
Before all the recent hullabaloo in recent years, I couldn’t remember which meant which way - because I could give two fucks - just let them be who they are.
Now I’ve had to learn a lot (which I don’t resent learning) so I can help stand up for their rights, and it’s really easy to remember. But it’s sort of like “biweekly” or “semiweekly” before you actually pay attention - both of those terms mean both something that happens twice per week or once every other week (although I tihnk biweekly more strongly implies twice per week, but it can absolutely be used for both).
I suppose that’s true that even people who aren’t necessarily bigots can struggle to understand what being trans is. My boomer parents aren’t transphobic, but they do struggle with the concept that when a person realizes they’re trans it retroactively means that they were always the gender they currently go by, even if they themselves didn’t know it at the time. I got into an argument with my dad when he kept calling the child of someone he knew “he” when talking about her in the past before she came out as trans. I tried to explain that, no, she was a she then as well, but didn’t know it herself and presented as a he, but he just didn’t get it.
I have a girlfriend who is trans and I knew her in the “before time” before she transitioned. When she talks about when she was a kid she refers to herself as “when I was a little girl”.
She was always a girl.
It must be so confusing for those kids. Their society, parents, relatives tell them one thing. But in their head they know they are another. My heart goes out to them.
Yeah. I’m married to a non binary person (we’re Poly, hence the girlfriend) and they didn’t change their name or gender markers until after we were married. But them describing to me about their childhood, their parents (who I adore but still struggle with the whole gender thing) and everything… Seeing their baby pictures they’re like “THAT’S NOT A GIRL! THAT’S TOTALLY IN BETWEEN!” and they’re right.
I’m just happy they can truly be themselves with me.
In the defense of your father that could also be down to how his brain categorizes things. Just as an example for myself, the actor Elliot Page technically has two different “entries” in my brain which if I could verbalize would be something along the lines of Ellen Page = Dead override Elliot Page = Alive, why is my brain doing it like that? Who knows, it’s probably the autism, but it does keep me from dead naming him.
A lot of people are still just not familiar with the terminology surrounding all things trans.
If you just say “trans man” many of them don’t go into a weird mental gymnastics session to justify their prejudice, they just go “which one was that again?”.
I’ve been there myself a few years ago and since I learned have explained it to several people who couldn’t be further from bigots, they were just not in much personal contact with trans people.
Sorry I didn’t mean to say that anyone who doesn’t know the difference is a bigot, I meant to say that the general public’s lack of awareness about what means what is due to bigots intentionally using the wrong gender or terminology any chance they get. They’re muddying the waters.
No need to apologize, and sorry that I apparently made you think an apology was required.
I wanted to build on and expand your point, not contradict it.
I guess they could be intersex? But mostly probably just to make the article accessable to boomers which I think is a fine thing to do.
And it’s okay if they ain’t intersex, because havin’ a low lerbido or being uh-sexual ain’t no big deal, neither.
/jk