I was sure this was going to end with

tfw I’m a kitchen table

Or something

who invited this shit covered stinky fatass to our party?

no one wants to say it

fuck it

ask him to leave

he mumbles something about “his spot”

somehow manages to stand up with his massive obese frame

pushes me over and sits on me

weight of the world

look at everyone for help

they look away

please help me

eventually sits on other people too

lie and tell him I’ll be his gf if he gets off me

fatass agrees

take longest shower of my life after and rethink my choices