DOGE technologists Edward Coristine—the 19-year-old known online as “Big Balls”—and Kyle Schutt are now listed as staff at the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency.
Here’s the thing: Trump may has said he allowed it via executive order, and whatever. But you come after data I was sworn to protect? Come here with a judge-vetted legal warrant and court order. Oh, you’ll fire me? Then I did my job. I’ll be arrested for doing the right thing, not cowardly giving in “because they might yell at me.” Yeah, I did that once, and I got a big fat nothing out of it. I got out before the S&L crisis, but I saw it coming a mile away. I have no loyalty to some rando from South Africa. I have a loyalty and duty to my job and country and fellow citizens.
My hope, and it’s a thin hope, is that they really can’t fucking do anything with the data because they don’t understand it. Or lied they have it, and we let them believe this lie as part of the protection. They only have 200 copies of “WideWorldImporters Sample Database for SQL Server and Azure SQL Database” and think it’s real. Or whatever. Unlikely, but I gotta have hope somewhere. Part of this is because I know how PII is stored, and it’s not like one large file. It’s multiple systems with “just in time” joins and a horrible complex mess that’s a wonder it works at all. A bunch of 19 year olds and a rich liar are monkeys with baseball bats hitting a random laptop as a comparison. Millions are spent on contractors to work with it, and rarely does any single one person know how it ALL works. Just pieces of it. And some of it was in COBOL. What, one of those kids has a spare PDP/11 in their garage? But, maybe that’s thinking too hopefully.
Even if they suddenly stopped, it will take decades to undo the damage they have already done.
Side note: “the launch codes” are not like, two hex keys to launch nuclear missiles. It’s so much more complicated than that, that I used to fear in the 1980s that the Ruskies would bomb us flat before someone with the right laminated notebook was located. “What? The keys didn’t work? Didn’t anyone test if the keys fit? NO???” I’m not saying that’s an exact case, but an example of shit I have run into. I have to also hope for sheer incompetence saving us, like out of the movie Brazil or something. God damn, this is a bleak dystopia.
Here’s the thing: Trump may has said he allowed it via executive order, and whatever. But you come after data I was sworn to protect? Come here with a judge-vetted legal warrant and court order. Oh, you’ll fire me? Then I did my job. I’ll be arrested for doing the right thing, not cowardly giving in “because they might yell at me.” Yeah, I did that once, and I got a big fat nothing out of it. I got out before the S&L crisis, but I saw it coming a mile away. I have no loyalty to some rando from South Africa. I have a loyalty and duty to my job and country and fellow citizens.
My hope, and it’s a thin hope, is that they really can’t fucking do anything with the data because they don’t understand it. Or lied they have it, and we let them believe this lie as part of the protection. They only have 200 copies of “WideWorldImporters Sample Database for SQL Server and Azure SQL Database” and think it’s real. Or whatever. Unlikely, but I gotta have hope somewhere. Part of this is because I know how PII is stored, and it’s not like one large file. It’s multiple systems with “just in time” joins and a horrible complex mess that’s a wonder it works at all. A bunch of 19 year olds and a rich liar are monkeys with baseball bats hitting a random laptop as a comparison. Millions are spent on contractors to work with it, and rarely does any single one person know how it ALL works. Just pieces of it. And some of it was in COBOL. What, one of those kids has a spare PDP/11 in their garage? But, maybe that’s thinking too hopefully.
Even if they suddenly stopped, it will take decades to undo the damage they have already done.
Side note: “the launch codes” are not like, two hex keys to launch nuclear missiles. It’s so much more complicated than that, that I used to fear in the 1980s that the Ruskies would bomb us flat before someone with the right laminated notebook was located. “What? The keys didn’t work? Didn’t anyone test if the keys fit? NO???” I’m not saying that’s an exact case, but an example of shit I have run into. I have to also hope for sheer incompetence saving us, like out of the movie Brazil or something. God damn, this is a bleak dystopia.