I have composed a piece of written musings on the tools choice in clay sculpting which I put on a display on a public internet forum.
I have received following advice: Go seek therapy.
However upon checking my vaults it has become apparent that they are barren.
What should I do in this situation?
Shit I know exactly what are my problems, like I probably have all the extensive library of browser bookmarks on mental health relating to my stuff.
The main main problem is inability to cope with some trans related things
I won’t come out to the world in a sorry state I am in
Well that’s a really good starting place :) If you did want to try therapy, being able to go in saying “I have these issues and I need to learn how to cope them” then you’ve got something to work on.
It would be helpful to find a therapist who is a specialist in trans issues, and hopefully they can help you work through what you’re struggling with. They can help you reflect on why you feel a certain way, or why certain things make you feel uncomfortable or how to cope with everyday things you have to face from other people. Sorry if I’m making any assumptions about what you need, but hopefully you get the gist of what I’m saying.
Yeah I guess but why not just burn them all to the ground instead? That’s doubly tempting. They will have to get therapy to adjust to a world with me after I am finished. Why not go this way instead?
Why do I need to go instead of them? I want to traumatise them
I am not a fucking victim here, they are the victims
I swear one funny look one more time and I am going to beat the shit out of someone, cameras or not something will break and I won’t control myself anymore.
Yeah you shouldn’t have to, none of us should have to face prejudice. But talking to someone could help you learn how to deal with difficult situations, or manage your emotional reaction when something bad happens (I’m not trying to invalidate how you feel, feeling rage is justified, but finding more productive outlets for anger can be really helpful, I’ve found this for myself personally), or they can just be someone you can vent all these thoughts to about wanting to burn them all to the ground. They could also help you consider other practical/logistical solutions to problems you’re facing.