Never try and improve things, specifically things having to do with how your job, group, division, it whatever works. Don’t try and improve efficiency, optimize workflow, or anything like that. Just do what you’re paid to and nothing more. If the company wants things to be more efficient then they can have your boss figure it out on their own. If they don’t punish you for trying them they won’t reward you for success, so don’t bother. Going above and beyond never works out.

Ah yes, a “glitch.”

I just make shit up and scribble it down somewhere I probably won’t lose it.

I’ll remember that for next time.

Can I use my latest Fallout NV character? He looks surprisingly like me when I have a beard and also my hairline from 20 years ago.

Cool, so can it help MAGA get a grip on reality?

There’s between 3 and 500. Since it’s statistically unlikely that the correct number would be at either extreme, the most likely correct number of continents would be somewhere around 250, with a margin of error of approximately 245.

That third leg though… Jesus fucking Christ.

Wear a Richard Nixon mask.

My dad collects coins, so I’m getting this for his birthday.

https://www.legboot.com/product/ea-nasir-copper-bullion-bar/#reviews

Oh so she’s made of bitch then.

I also remember that after 6th grade I was able to go on to 7th grade. Clearly this individual was not.

One wind ghost and they’re gonna be cleaning sand out of those things for weeks.

Optimus Prime would still make her an honorary Autobot.

But why plain spaghetti? I mean no sauce? That’s just not right.

That’s most of the next month’s dinner for your kid. They get to pick out one can a night.

That’s assuming they can even get him to pay it.

It’s like a CEO heard a joke or saw a comic where this happened and thought it was the best idea possible. “If we add in waiting time for no reason then some of the people will hang up and go away.” It’s the same logic as making anyone who wants to close an account (such as Netflix) jump through 3 people and a million hoops.

Seriously, I moved to a town where Comcast has no Internet service, I looked it up on their online service tool. They STILL ran me through retention even after they looked it up and confirmed it internally, and I had to go through 10 extra minutes of some lady reading from a script before they’d kill my account, and then had the gall to ask if I wanted to complete a customer service survey.

And like most German things, they’re saying it in the most terrifying way possible.

It’s easier to scare people when they have no idea what’s reasonable to be scared of