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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • Klox@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    5 days ago

    Me and two of my siblings went for PhDs, and only one came out successful. I got to teach a ton during my attempt which I really loved, and having the PhD would open up a few of those doors. In my career (tech) there were only a couple short times where I thought having the PhD would help, but over time I managed fine without it.

    As to why I didn’t get the PhD, my advisor was truly awful and I didn’t recognize the signs since I was just going hard at the work. Tons of red flags were there in hindsight. I wised up and quit a few years into PhD (after already earning a masters) and went software engineering, and by all measures have had an excellent software career. Several years later he was convicted of federal crimes and disgracefully removed from the university. So somewhat of a vindication of my experience; I regularly imagine what could have been, but not because I have any specific regrets.

    I still love learning and think I may still go for the PhD some day. Another sibling just had too much happening in life. Tried to do a work sponsored PhD and couldn’t get it over the line before having to move on. She may revisit it some day, but it’s tough juggling a slightly different job career and now she has kids to make it more complicated.

    For my sibling that made it, it was tough. They had alot of anxiety and stress. They use their degree to teach now so I guess it was nevessary, but it’s not glorious by any means. They don’t make a ton, and have had to move universities and programs. They were able to leverage a lot of skills from their degree (biology) but it’s still a pretty regular battle even when not doing research. They aren’t able to support a family on a single income, but that is increasingly common.

    If you have the time and passion, I don’t see why not. I am getting some textbooks in some fields and will see where it goes. Maybe I’ll go for a PhD when my kids go off to get their bachelors! I guess my advice is making sure you fully evaluate the program, the advisors available, the time commitment, what different exits look like, and if needed, what doors the PhD is actually opening up.



  • It can absolutely be overwhelming, and very easy to forget specifics over a long time. It’s partly why I don’t really go for CLI apps, and ~all of my apps are just Ansible manifests. Which apps are causing the biggest problems for your family?

    What exactly is breaking each of these times? Guides that cover 95% sound pretty solid to me. It’s hard to write a guide covering 100% of scenarios. Admittedly I also worked in the field, but the field is extremely wide so maybe there’s some knowledge areas to deepen that are commonly giving you problems and/or move towards a less brittle setup.

    Re-evaluating what’s important is important. If it’s not fun then you should reflect on having the right balance of what is helping you and your family vs causing excessive stress. IMO the “avoid all tech companies” is slightly overblown (blasphemous, I know). It’s a good guiding principle but it’s fine to “buy services” that make your life better. For example, I self host a lot, but I was totally fine buying a finances tracking app (the spreadsheet-based one) because it’s doing a lot of heavy lifting that I can’t reasonably do myself at the level of convenience I want.









  • Never republican. Prior to that, whichever Democrat says they will reign hell fire.

    Disbanding ICE, disbanding TSA, slashing CBP, cutting military 75+%, expanding the supreme court by 10+ seats, expanding DOJ for that massive backlog of criminal prosecutions, forcing better vote methodologies, forcing a constitutional convention (new branches of government, independent DOJ, independent science research, independent health), encouraging new states (DC, Guam, Puerto Rico) to join the union to fix Senate proportions, remove electoral college, add in mechanisms for national no-confidence votes, healthcare as a right, etc. There’s a lot more heh.