Rdrama.net

Yeah well good luck with adhd at: work hard, show on time, remember that you have any work at all

First month is always all cool and nice thanks to inhumane amount of energy but then it catches up with you and you plunge hard

The more monotonous and routine something is the worse it gets. Same tram every day at same hour? Two weeks max before inevitable disappearance to never appear again.

It’s like walls are closing on you and anxiety attacks start and you have to run and regain your strength to try anew somewhere else.

Once it got so bad I almost got paranoidal psychosis because I just felt so bad so to preserve my mental health I had to disappear and barricade for half a year to recoup.

It’s no fun standing in public and feeling like you are about to die, freaking out about it, freaking out about freaking out about it and that you are crazy, running like mad from the place that gave you this suffocating feeling

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https://www.nature.com/articles/s41893-023-01132-6

Its heavily processed and prettified https://www.nature.com/articles/s41893-023-01132-6/figures/15

map of climate change outcomes. 2.7 warming. Violet - unhabitable

Well the other side has no such thoughts at all. They multiply without hesitation or second guessing. Unfortunately the laws of evolution are cruel and in such world one can only hope to shape their descendants and what is left there after the departure.

To cultivate our traditions of empathy we must overcome these doubts lest all is left are traditions of facism. And best way to do it is to adopt existing… misfortunes and try to make them more fortunate for the better of everyone.

Those kids were born anyway, the decision has been made for them already. Now the only decision is to be made how to raise them. Avoiding this burden will only make them lost and hateful.

It’s not stupid to raise kids the right way when facism is knocking at the doors. On the contrary, it is necessary.

For evil to win it is enough if good people do nothing.

It’s not really that reasonable. In 10-20 years sane people will die out cause evolution apparently

What I propose instead is to adopt

We adopt stray cats and dogs instead of buying yet we can’t muster courage to do the same for fellow humans?

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It’s very entertaining

Well usually laws say that the defense must be proportional to an attack. If someone threatens you with words you probably shouldn’t decapitate them.

Keep your cool and provoke them and watch their suffering if that’s enjoyable for you. I know for me it is.

Today some priest crossed himself when he saw me. It was fucking hilarious and honestly semi arousing. Like imagine an adult man being so fucked up, suddenly your problems seem small.

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ml is okayish compared to hexbear lol

I thought at first it was some fun leftist lgbt place but quickly I ran into violent bloodthirsty comments that made my skin crawl. there are also many of my lovely fellow transfems over there ugh. it is really sad when people are lost into the void of extremism. But I don’t really blame them however I grieve them.

Can you read? I said self defense

Idk if it’s some reference to real life events lately but I generally hate violence as anything other than self defense. Violence is a tool and not some kind of point in itself to pleasure yourself with. There are way too many bloodthirsty people all over the earth tankies and nazis alike that yearn for a bloodbath

Okay but how do you keep a job and make money like this ya know this isn’t the exact mindset they are looking for or makes it possible to finish serious stuffs

Might as well surf the waves of privilege except that sucks and feels bad

I used to. It was you could say „severe hormone imbalance”. Now after fixing that I have more energy than I ever would need honestly to the point I need to go running or something.

Unless I don’t sleep well then I just wait for the night whole day which happens more often than I’d like to. I need to be asleep already at 12 am and wake up at 8-9 to sleep well.

Problem is I work/think/focus best at 10pm-12am and I need to time my cbd oil into that to sleep. And considering the stuff makes me high for some reason even tho it shouldn’t theoretically then it gets complicated to schedule it all for optimal sleep.

In any case the oil removed anxiety from my life so that’s nice, maybe not completely I still get nervous some times y know but it’s big difference

That’s relatable haha I wish it was that consistent. Deadlines make me do 3d modelling in blender maybe I need some 3d modelling deadline and then I will code for 10 hours in ecstasy then completely forget about anything for a week then panic then feel guilty then switch to „I want to be an artist” mode after which is I want to be a game developer mode, and then there is I want to be a mobile developer mode

I am entry knowledge level at sooo many things. Maybe if ai assistants materialise in sufficient form it will be era for people like me that know a little bit of everything but lack the willpower and consistency to ever master anything.

This week is a music artist week for me I am producing stuff in Ableton maybe it isn’t good but it is the only thing that makes sense right now

I don’t have a job. Idk what am I doing with life tbh. I should be coding as I am naturally good at it and it’s fun but… procrastination

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