I love this, but also found it hilarious - especially the towel as a helicopter blade trick and your description of it being “very undesirable for the fly.” I’m picturing your partner or housemate sighing and being like, “there they go again, herding flies.” I can definitely see it working though.
If you ignore the first W it reads to me as, “Fart Free Water.” That’s actually an attribute I like in my water.