I don’t think it was a hoax, but campaign 101 is to be absolutely confident in your candidacy until the nanosecond you drop out. If you telegraph weakness to the voting public, and then end up staying in the race, that will be a millstone around your neck. Even if he was wavering in the weeks leading up to his dropout, there would be zero upside to communicating that publicly.

I always used to wonder how the Weimar Republic fumbled the ball so hard. Now I know.

Also, in Christian eschatology, isn’t it a big deal that the Antichrist suffers a near fatal head injury before his ultimate victory?

My man grew that gross-ass soul patch just to reinforce his findings.

Mostly because the rocks are very stupid and will misunderstand your instructions at first opportunity. Kinda like Amelia Bedilia.