Every fracture, bruise and STABWOUND I’ve had as a 6ft1 230lbs dude, in my 45 years on this earth were caused by one 5ft2 woman.
That 18 year relationship left me with serious PTSD, constant anxiety I’ll get a call she killed herself, constant anxiety she may seek contact again and severely aggravated my pre-existing dislike for any sort of physical contact.
It took well over a year before I was able to even hug the woman that is now my wife.
I was abused by my ex-wife for years. The treatment I received from government agencies was more damaging than most of what I got from her.
Certain organisations that are used to inform governments, from elected officials to social workers are based on the assumption that only men are ever abusive, that all men are abusive and the women can do no wrong. It started with the Duluth model and was followed in Australia by a study done by White Ribbon that specifically excluded straight men from participating. I know this is the case as I attempted to participate and that is exactly what I was told at the time.
Our bureau of Statistics has clearly shown that at least ⅓ of victims are men.
This is what is meant when people talk about the patriarchy and toxic masculinity hurting everyone. It’s not “all men are bad!” But rather the idea that men aren’t allowed by society to have feelings other than anger, or are unable to be raped, or need to just “man up” when they are suffering-It’s all bullshit, and so harmful to men and boys. I’m so sorry for what you went through, and I hope you were able to find peace.
Eh, no. A lot of this crap is also being pushed by the latest wave of feminists who are of the “all men are rapists” type. I recall seeing this video a few years back about a guy trying to get into a meeting for those left after male suicide. Guy’s brother committed suicide, he wanted, needed to talk about this and was denied entry by a bunch of feminists who literally cheered that his brother had killed himself.
Everybody deserves equal treatment, men, women, or whatever you identify as. In the past few years though, there had been a clear push against white men because they must all be racist or something? It’s weird.
Either way, this is not just “toxic masculinity”, way too easy to again push it on that.
It is still toxic masculinity, people just aren’t prepared to acknowledge the massive role women play in propagating it.
So the belief by neo-feminists that all men are rapists and undeserving of sympathy is due to all men’s toxic personality? Am I getting that right? Seems like victim blaming.
“Toxic masculinity” doesn’t imply “masculinity is inherently toxic”, but rather it refers to behaviors that are generally considered masculine, and are being described as toxic. You can talk about toxic femininity as well. A lot of people do, in fact, they just call it “being Karens”.
… and that most men are guilty of. When we blame men’s suffering on toxic masculinity, we are referring to the toxic masculinity in the behavior of men, and therefore we are blaming men’s suffering on men’s behavior.
Fucking disgusting, poor guy was a literal hero and was spit on for it
This is just life in the slave racket. Abuse victims are denigrated, subjugated, and treated as the real threat to their community and not the abuser. They are treated like that because the society NEEDS most of its people to be abused and to tolerate it so they can be exploited throughout their lives without challenging their exploiters, or even worse, tearing down the system that benefits the oppressors.
Abuse victims who actively rebel or who try to help other victims jeopardize the system’s access to slaves, you see. So they have their spirits driven completely into the ground to stop others rising up against them.
Why do you think things like rape or domestic abuse are seldom punished? Or even murder to an extent? Especially since the government has had access to mass surveillance for over a decade and thus has the power to end such crimes completely?
The powers that be WANT this and NEED it for their system to survive.
That is the slave racket.
Damn that devolved into conspiracy bullshit real quick. Shame.
Is it conspiracy bullshit that megacorps and billionaires directly benefit from, and spend millions on, sowing division among the people?
It’s conspiracy bullshit to think that the government has nebulous access to all listening and recording devices, has an army of goons to review every second of every piece of footage, and when murders or rapes occur they actively ignore it because the division helps them profit.
It’s conspiracy bullshit to say that the billionaires and corporations are coming together to crush the spirits of the working class to have subservient slaves and that their entire existence is dependant on this apparent cycle of slavery through breaking down the hopes and dreams of the working class.
And yes, it’s conspiracy bullshit to think they’re directly spending money on sowing division in people. The only corporations that benefit on division work as military contractors or reporters.
In reality, they just don’t give a fuck about us. Politicians want to be re-elected with the least possible work done, corporations want to make the most money with the least possible cost, and billionaires want to keep as much money as they can until the heat death of the universe. Overwhelmingly, most aren’t malicious, just apathetic and trying to ascribe malice to everything, to think everyone is in the shadows conspiring against you is what sane people call paranoia.
That’s a complete misrepresentation of what the other commenter was saying.
It’s conspiracy bullshit to think that the government has nebulous access to all listening and recording devices, has an army of goons to review every second of every piece of footage, and when murders or rapes occur they actively ignore it because the division helps them profit.
None of this was said or implied.
And yes, it’s conspiracy bullshit to think they’re directly spending money on sowing division in people.
Why? Isn’t that the purpose of Rupert Murdoch’s?
“None of this was said or implied”
Really? Then why mention mass surveillance like it matters then? If they can’t actually go through all the data it means fucking nothing.
Isn’t that the purpose of Rupert Murdoch’s?
Gee wizz what was one of the two industries I listed that actually do profit off of divi- OH YEAH The News!
I represented their arguments exactly as they were laid out and stipulated my position accurately. They’re a conspiracy nutcase that thinks everyone in power is out to get them and the only people who actually benefit off spending money to divide people are the guys making guns and the guys recording it. Period.
Okay, let me spell this out like you are a four year old then:
The claim is that the government has the power to stop abuse en masse and improve life for everyone, but doesn’t, because they benefit from it.
The NSA program (which has been well-known for over a decade) is an example of that.
I represented their arguments exactly as they were laid out and stipulated my position accurately.
LMFAO no you’re not; you’re going off on a completely different tangent about the system as a whole instead of addressing my main claim, specifically how domestic abuse is allowed in order to maintain it, and you’re doing it because you perceive any negative talk against the system as an existential threat to it.
You only address a claim literally everyone else on Lemmy makes: that corporations actively exploit and abuse their workers, and you label it as conspiracy shit.
And you do it because I’m right and you know it, people are realizing it, and that inconveniences and threatens you.
You are exactly the kind of motherfucker who keeps the slave racket going. Because fuck them kids. Fuck them abuse victims. You ordered your Big Mac five minutes ago and you want it NOW
That’s awful. He deserves to be remembered. Thanks for posting. Are there shelters in place now in Canada?
I believe there is only one in the whole country
He wasn’t weak like some bigots may claim. It’s just not that easy to fight the whole world alone. And he tried just that. A very tragic story that is really good to know to start untangling the problem.
If you want a good band that talks about that and are pretty aproacheable, IDLES is a good recent punk act with a lot of bangers. Search for them on youtube, their videos hit hard and their live on KEXP is fire.
This is why, you’ll never see your father cry
This is why, you’ll never see your father cry
This is why, you’ll never see your father
+I mean that live: https://youtu.be/5Sbbiv5iSiQ
Jesus Christ, 2013 is too late for that.
MASH hosted about 20 fleeing men and children in the first four months of 2013 before being shut down.
Glass half full. He probably made a massive difference in the lives of those 20 in those few short months. Maybe even turned some lives around.
glass half full with a hole in it
My god, what an awful story.
Misandry is sadly extremely widespread and often not even recognized as a problem: Erin Pizzey who invented modern women’s shelters quickly found out that women were just as capable of being violent to their partners and logically tried to start men’s shelters as well.
What she had not expected was that instead with the support that she previously got with women’s shelters, the same did not happen with men’s shelters; instead she received insane amounts of hate, victim-blaming and death-threats from radical feminists. She had to repeatedly flee her countries because of material safety-concerns as a result of that.
In some way the peak I encountered of this kind of hate was some Fedi-site that had a rule banning misandry (good!), because it also harms trans people. Now the second part is very much true and as a trans girl I agree that it does and that that is bad, but that should not be the primary argument for why it is bad. That’s like saying anti-judaism is bad, because some Jews are white or saying misogyny is bad, because it also affects trans men or saying anti-black racism is bad, because it might affect white people with a strong tan: The statement is true and the secondary victim group fully preserves protection, but by making that statement you betray an incredibly bigoted mindset that doesn’t even respect the primary target-group enough to care about them at all.
There is a lot feminism that really just amounts to men-hating and that is why I do not use that label for myself. I believe in equivalent treatment and rights and so should everyone;
I think there are a lot of people who practice “White Feminism” which is mainly white women wanting to keep the existing power structures, but just replace the men with women and do nothing to actually address the cause of systemic inequality which hurt many marginalized women. Like all movements, the actual ideology and the movement in praxis are quite different and people are more motivated by a perceived vengeance and indignation than actually trying to get people onboard and change perspectives. This is why you get TERFs and the like.
My mother was the abuser in my home. She abused me and my father. That fact doesn’t prevent me from knowing that men are statistically more likely to be the aggressor. I don’t know what I’m trying to say with this comment. Life is scary and hard enough. May we all only share and receive kindness.
Xx love you.
So sorry to hear that.
I read:
1 - men absolutely get abused
2 - we don’t need to entirely eliminate any of the existing narrative that women have it rough [but let’s add abuse of men to the picture]
No notes besides sending some love back, brother.
I don’t know what I’m trying to say with this comment
That despite being actual victim of abuse, and further witnessing your father be a victim of abuse, You still try to push the narrative that women are the only real victims and the only ones deserving of support.
and I dont say this to be mean, or snarky, or cruel to you. You’ve just got to realize how internalized you’ve got this shit.
That is very kind of you, cokeslutgarbage. Not my business but anyway: this may be the moment when a username deserves to be changed.
Yeah it could probably use a cunt at the end for maximum efficacy
Men’s shelters are needed. Men are also survivors of domestic abuse.
I am a victim of abuse. We had a kid too. The court handed my daughter to my abuser when she made false claims and I was arrested. All charges were dropped but the custody battle was delayed and made wildly more complex than it needed to be by the mother. Two months ago I was finally awarded sole custody. It has been so hard. To say male abuse victims have an uphill battle is an understatement.
Stay strong, brother. One day when your child has grown up they’ll understand and be grateful that you fought so hard.
This is a classic case of the Patriarchy / Toxic Masculinity hurting men too.
For the government officials to fund a Men’s shelter would mean admitting that men can have moments of weakness, which the men in power do not like.
Yeap, nobody cares about men
No one does.
They tell you to open up and talk about your emotions, to be vulnerable and they leave you cause you’re weak, and spread rumors about your sexuality (because straight men arent supposed to have feelings) when you do.
You ask for help, and you get ridiculed and called weak and told endless stories about how hard real victims/women have it.
Anything you do except suffer in silence is unacceptable.
And just by the gods make sure you don’t make your silent suffering to noticeable to impact others, because god damn then the ridicule and the “well ackshually”-ing about other peoples suffering will really start.
Yeah, being a man hasn’t changed over the years.
Those who succumb to feminist bullshit aren’t rewarded; they’re chastised.
Has nothing to do with feminism.
Its this toxic idea of stoicism, that men arent supposed to be anything but strong and not feel anything but anger, thats the problem.
It actually has a lot to do with feminism.
As soon as men start behaving like women, they start being less attractive to women.
Women won’t tell you this, so you’ll have to figure it out yourself using your powers of observation.
Hmm, now I have concerns after watching this thread unfold. OP created their account 2 days ago and this thread is the only thing they’ve posted. They haven’t even made any comments here or elsewhere.
And, different from the beginning, this thread is quickly becoming just the usual whinging from the bigoted MRA types that hate all women.
This thread feels like it was a setup.
Even if the messenger might have dubious motives, I think the message deserves to be heard.
Yeah… you don’t see feminists complaining about fair representation in sanitation industries.
Same goes for the draft.
