DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TOWARDS ANY MYTHOLOGY. People may speak of eating your favorite beings, please be prepared for such.
To start off, While I am a pescatarian, I think biblical angels would be delicious fried / grilled, specifically the ones who aren’t high enough to be abstract shapes, as I do not think I can stomach a wheel.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I’ve been off gluten for a while now for medical reasons and god damn this a thousand times. I would kill for some decent spaghetti.
All the gluten free ones are kinda shit.
I would imagine the FSM to be composed of the platonic ideal of gluten rather than physical gluten, though I’m not sure if that would be more irritating or less. I’d consult a GI and maybe a metaphysician.
Metaphysician here. The platonic ideal of gluten will induce the platonic ideal of diarrhea. Honestly I’m not going to call that a good trade, but that’s an exercise for the reader.
Is there gluten in chickpeas? I kinda prefer it to regular
Chickpeas are legumes and legumes don’t have gluten. Although you should still check products because there might be crosd contam or added wheat in some products.
But yeah probably chickpea spaghetti can be found gluten free. I’ll put it on the “to try” list, but I’m not too hopeful. I’ve tried a whole bunch and without that gluten in there, just can’t get the consistency right enough for it to please me.
So I just got a rice cooker.
I’ll warn you that it overcooks easily. Cook it for less time than normal pasta.
I mean Jesus is pretty tasty in small doses as is.
Jesus wafers with grape jelly is something I’d definitely snack on.
They’d dip them in wine.
Grape jelly could be considered solid wine
I’ve actually tried that once, but the Jesus wafer ended up real soggy.
Just go looking for the chocolate one
I love Tom! I was originally going to go down this line with my comment and didn’t think anyone would get it. Thanks.
Hah,I didn’t know either, but love that you are around!
Came here for this… I mean, he did say Eat Me. (Not like that, sicko.) This is my body, tastes like good crust bread.
He probably worked on it a bit before he died. Like ate a lot of Sage and Thyme at the last supper or something.
Ok, hear me out… Minotaur sausages.
Oooooo, imagine the anger packed in them.
Dibs on the prime rib!
A medium rare Phoenix might be interesting. Though you’d have to work really hard not to burn it, else you get a baby Phoenix.
Many early generation Pokemon might be delicious. I don’t want to eat any steel type Pokemon.
Charcoal grilled phoenix might be good! Maybe basted in some really hot chili sauce? Or maybe even as simple as a soy sauce based baste. Keeping the phoeinix moist with some basting liquid is probably a good way to keep it from burning.
I don’t mind a deep-fried baby Phoenix tho.
What about phoenix balut?
I never thought about burning a phoenix might be problematic. But isn’t that an infinite phoenix glitch in which someone can keep making more phoenixes to eat?
Dark thought for a D&D group: How much of a Phoenix do you think you need to keep for it to respawn?
I think if not fleshed out in the mythology being used in the setting, it’s in the DM’s prerogative. If I were DM, I’d say the Phoenix has to actually die before it can respawn.
Slicing off a Phoenix’s wings will just result in an injured and very pissed-off Phoenix.
Moreover, I’d stipulate that whatever Phoenix parts (butchered, raw, or cooked, or even partly-digested) would disappear whenever that Phoenix respawns. And for a spicy twist: someone who digests any part of a Phoenix will have a psychic link to the Phoenix. Wisdom check after every long rest (three days after ingesting the Phoenix) to determine whether or not the person retains control of their body. Failing this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the Phoenix gaining complete control. Succeeding this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the person regaining complete control of their own body.
EDIT:
Thinking about this more, I think this can be fleshed out even more. There is only one Phoenix, which was eaten by a bunch of people believing eating it would result in gaining whatever powers the Phoenix originally had, maybe being impervious to fire. However, the Phoenix took over their bodies instead. Many many many years later, the Phoenix never really dies: it just choose a body it controls, and transforms it to “its original body”. Thus, now, the Phoenix is known for its “immortality”.
How about if we take the legs, then burn the rest to ashes so it would reemerge.
I bet Jörmungandr the world-serpent, who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil-tree, destined to kill and be killed by Thor, tastes like chicken.
I’m a vegetarian so I want either a golden apple or an apple from Eden.
a golden apple from?
A golden apple enscribed with “kallisti”.
I’m not picky.
Cthulu Nigiri maybe?
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
A Griffin, the Turducken of the Middle Ages
Ehehehhehe, turducken.
Prometheus Liverwurst?
Ironically, the best.
Wow… Legit. All you can eat too. Just stop back tomorrow.
A bite of the Ouroboros, why should the serpent be the only one that gets a taste of itself?
Didn’t Zeus go around appearing as things like swans? Is swan like goose? Christmas Zeus, with a bonus of all that fat to fry potatoes in is my choice. Just gotta catch him in swan form.
Tiny Tim: Mom, look at the Christmas Zeus! It’s almost as big as me!
The problem with ingesting Zeus is that I’d have a good chance (nearly 100% based on my Greek mythology knowledge) I’d end up being pregnant and incurring Hera’s wrath, or being whisked to Olympus as his winebearer… or both!
Flying spaghetti monster feels quite obvious
Beyond that I’m vegan so I’d eat snacks off Aphrodite’s belly, therefore snacking upon Aphrodite
I drink trash wine and love carbs anyway so I’m going with Jesus.
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Bro’s gonna get to the great beyond and experience horrors beyond human comprehension for this one
