Up front and center: I was appalled when I first learned the term “tradwife”, made me ill, still does. The word is mainly used by childish men who want a hot, submissive, mommy wife, while not understanding that they have responsibilities.

I say “sorta” tradwife because she has a job, but otherwise I think she fits the bill.

She does almost all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I do a bit because I always have and sometimes want it my way. (I’m better at laundry dammit!) Her reaction falls between offended, like I’m taking her job or saying she didn’t do it well, and ecstatic, “because no man has done this for me!”

She’s mostly submissive, lets me make the decisions. If she does put her foot down, yeah, she fucking means it, that thing is going to go that way. Rare, and a bit uncomfortable for me, probably means I fucked up.

She’s always pretty, made up and stylishly dressed. Always. After being together 2 years, I still stare at her every day, always something new.

She’s Filipino and I’m American. This is normal for her, weird for adult me, but… I was raised by my Silent Gen grandparents, Beaver Cleaver style. Go watch a 50’s sitcom, that was my childhood in the 70s.

There’s much to be said about such an arrangement. My parents had zero arguments because they each filled various roles, never ever stepped on one another’s feet. It was never dad’s turn to do the dishes, never mom’s turn to mow the yard. Dad made the money, mom scrimped and saved and shopped. Dad helped me with my math homework (he was an engineer), mom helped me with English (the one thing she excelled at). Maybe most important, neither questioned the results of one another’s work. They had their jobs to do and it wasn’t any of their damned business how the other did theirs. (I’m sure they talked when I wasn’t around, but not much, at least some would have leaked.)

Obviously traditional gender roles can be swapped, mixed up, dealer’s choice. But for a child, or an adult, it’s damned nice to know who is doing what, no questions asked, stable situation for everyone involved. Say what you will, but imagine a childhood with no parental strife.

Now, come tell me how wrong I am. :)

  • Saltycracker@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    You would be surprised how normal this actually is these days. At least people who grew up with a family that way