I could accept it matters more than 0, but it is pretty far down the list of issues given the state of the world.

I occasionally become insufferable and recommend people play other games, but people don’t really care. It’s like getting people off twitter.

That’s capitalism for you. The owners get all the profits. The people doing the actual labor get a salary, which is as low as possible.

The whole “it’s too expensive” thing is kind of nonsense. There are billionaires. We would get something for the money. It’s not like Zohran is proposing building a 500 solid gold statue of himself, or a ballroom that would only be used by a handful of people. Healthcare, buses, grocery stores, those all actually help people and will lead to more good stuff later.

People who stay healthy later go out to concerts and spend money, or whatever.

This is broadly true, but given the low level of rules mastery I’ve seen I say “shared understanding of the rules” is a generous description.

Still, like a national fast food chain sometimes you just want something familiar even if it’s not as good as other options. You know it’s not likely to be worse than your expectations

I pay in cash for a handful of things. Pizza from the corner shop. Tips for the bartenders at my local bars. Sometimes food from the smaller groceries.

The only thing that matters to them is in-group solidarity. They are bad people. That is a bad person world view.

I should listen to more of them. I only really knew “ready for the floor”

Everything is an option according to them but it’s ultimately isn’t.

It really is a more restrictive system than people think. If you have a concept that’s like “psychic batman” you can’t really make that concept go in DND. Trivial to make in the other games I play the most (fate, CofD).

D&D is not as good as it is popular. It’s a very idiosyncratic game that’s mostly focused on a particular kind of play, but people treat it like it’s a general purpose tool.

Clearly people can have fun with it, and that’s what really matters. I’m still convinced many of them would have more, easier, cheaper, fun if they picked up a different game.

That’s so much money that could have been better spent

I briefly toyed with some of the early image generation stuff. It was a fun toy for making NPCs for RPGs.

But now it’s everywhere and being used as an excuse to squeeze labor harder and deliver dubious value. If it just stayed as a toy I wouldn’t mind it much. I get annoyed at the aggressive “do you want me to rewrite that for you??” shit that pops up now.

They’re not thinking with facts they’re thinking with feelings.

Big sigh. Every time this topic comes up, the same kind of questions come up. Usually there’s a lot of ignorance and some malice, and it’s kind of tiring. But, most people are probably talking in good faith , even if they’re firing from the hip.

First off, not all non monogamous relationship types are the same. Swinging tends to just be about the meat. Open relationships often are hierarchical and have some people as secondary “fun but not serious”, and often have one “primary” relationship. Polyamory and relationship anarchy tend to be less about hierarchy. But also sometimes people will use the same word and mean different things.

Common questions and responses

“This sounds exhausting”

Cool. So does rock climbing and marathon running. Don’t do it if you’re not interested.

“I don’t have time for that”

Cool. I also don’t have time for some things , so I don’t do them. I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to post on a topic about baseball that watching all those games takes up too much of my day.

“It’s just cheating”

No. Cheating is when you break the agreed upon rules. If your rules say “you can fuck other people” and then you fuck other people, you have not cheated.

“It’s just dating. I dated a few people before I met my spouse.”

Not really. It’s common for people to go on multiple dates before they go exclusive. In those cases it’s typical for the emotional connection to be more shallow. You’re just getting to know someone.

With some forms of non monogamy, people can form meaningful emotional bonds with multiple people.

Note that a polycule doesn’t have to be a closed shape. A can date B, B can date C, but A and C can have any or no relationship to each other.

“I want an emotional connection”

Many polyamorous people form emotional connections with their partners.

“This all sounds complicated”

Many things in life are. Pathfinder is a complicated tabletop game, but you don’t have to play it. Don’t engage with it if it doesn’t sound worth the effort. You can play simpler games instead and be perfectly happy.

“I knew a couple that did this and they broke up”.

Cool. I knew a monogamous couple and they broke up.

“But they broke up because of the open relationship!”

Did they? Or were they unhappy for other reasons? Also, I knew a couple that broke up because of WoW. Does that mean WoW will doom a relationship?

“I’ve never seen one work”

I have. Also many poly people don’t talk about it with strangers. You might know people who are happily non monogamous and they just never told you.

“I can’t even find one relationship”

Yeah it’s hard out there. It’s mostly a numbers game, and location is a big factor. Don’t believe incel or manosphere mythology.

Counterintuitively, pursuing non monogamy for me meant fewer dates. It’s a smaller pool of candidates.

“I’m too jealous for this”

Thank you for sharing your character flaw. The first step towards addressing a problem is usually recognizing it.

That said, most people experience jealousy sometimes. A mark of maturity and strength is recognizing it and handling it well. Talking about how you feel insecure when your partner doesn’t text you for a few days is fine. Stalking them to see what they’re up to is not.

"What about STDs??"

Use protection. Single people dating get by. If you feel the risk is unacceptable, don’t engage in non monogamy

“What about families? Kids??”

Kids are pretty flexible. The poly familes I knew, the kids were doing great. Everyone in the polycule loved them. It was like having extra aunts and uncles, mostly.

“But what if there’s a breakup??”

When my aunt divorced Uncle Steve I was sad because Steve was cool, but my parents explained to me that sometimes relationships end. It’s not different.

“You’re being really condescending right now”

Yeah. It’s one of those eternal September / for me it was Tuesday topics for me.

“But you made me feel bad, so I’m not really reading your content”

Yeah, that happens. Read this comic about it: https://theoatmeal.com/comics/believe

Ok, I think I got all the common ones.

You shouldn’t be allowed to do such environmentally destructive nonsense as running a “bitcoin mine”.

This should be a climate crime and the management responsible forced to pick up trash or some other appropriate punishment

I think food and having belligerent neighbors might be a problem.

I mean, kind of, but the robber is the root cause. They have agency and choose to rob. If it was flood protection, yeah, can’t blame the water.

The Republicans deserve the bulk of the blame

If I leave my door open and someone robs me, that’s a little bit my fault. But it’s a lot the robber’s fault.

The Republicans have agency. They choose to be human shaped trash bags. They deserve the majority of the blame and scorn. They are the worst people on earth.

I don’t think laws mean anything anymore. There are too many bad faith (pun intended) people in positions of power.

There’s that bit in Baldur’s gate 2 where some NPCs decide they can take you on, die, and then reload the game.