I once knew a girl who shaved her head bald. Her default response to “Does the carpet match the drapes?” was “That depends, is my head bleeding?”
How often is she asked that question though?
Blonde and ginger women get asked plenty.
I can easily see a shaved head elicit the same dubious approach.
Any woman I’ve ever talked with has their fair share of weird, inappropriate crap thrown their way, this just par for the course.I was a doorman at a popular niteclub, she was out partying damn near every weekend for a while, I saw it happen twice in person.
Drunk people arent all that witty and they are very predictable.
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I’m so disappointed by these comments. It is a very specific situation, why do they all take this so personally and think it is an attack against all men?
These comments remind me very much of the bear vs men “debate”
This sounds like a US thing.
People just don’t go to other people saying some random shit where I’m from. Unless they’re crazy, beggars, or tourists from the US. If you come to anorher person and don’t start your sentence with “excuse me” or “sorry”, you’re getting ignored.
I live in fear of this type of person, especially as someone who listens to metal which tends to be male-dominated. I’m an album person and I’m not always checking the table of contents when I listen. There are bands I’ve been a fan of for over a decade that I don’t have five songs memorized for. I love these bands and I don’t think I’m fake for liking them or wearing a shirt.
“name five of their songs” questions person A’s (the one wearing the band t-shirt) knowledge of the band.
“name five women who trust you” questions person B’s (the one who asked the 1st question) relationships with women in their life.
therefore “name five women who trust you” is much more loaded than “name five of their songs”, making it a response that is, perhaps, too rude and unnecessary. although, assuming person B asked person A to name the songs unprompted (this is probably what usually happens), this could be an appropriate counter-question as sometimes a ruder response is necessary when dealing with annoying people.
People who have only just met me typically ask if I have kids (even though they rarely ask my husband the same question). And when I say that I don’t, 80% of those people think that “Why not?” is an appropriate follow-up. And about half of them will go on about how having kids is great and I should really do it and that someday I’ll change my mind.
Now, I made a choice not to have kids. It’s not a difficult subject for me, even though it’s annoying to have strangers insinuate that I don’t know myself well enough to make that decision. But I have several loved ones who have suffered miscarriages and fertility issues, and I know that they feel really uncomfortable answering that question.
So right around the time I turned 35, my standard response became, " You know, when a woman gets to be a certain age and she doesn’t have kids, there’s usually a reason, and she usually doesn’t want to discuss it with strangers."
That usually stops those people in their tracks. And I hope it has stopped at least one of them from asking a really invasive question to a person who’s overly sensitive about the fact that they can’t have kids.
All that to say that humoring someone and naming the five songs (or saying that you can’t) out of politeness just reiterates that they were correct to act as a gatekeeper. Pointing out how rude the question is might actually change their behavior in the future.
I really like the idea of making someone feel bad for asking a question like that.
To be fair, you actually don’t know if you’d be happier with kids since you don’t, you know, have any kids.
I have nieces, nephews, and students whom I love fiercely, but I also love that I get to give them back to their parents at the end of the day.
I do not regret my choice in the least. I live a comfortable life and I can afford to do a lot of things that my friends and coworkers who have kids can’t afford to do, either financially or emotionally. I would not be experiencing the adventure I’m currently on (living as an expat) if I had to provide a stable home environment for my own child(ren).
I’m not saying you should regret your choice, just that you will never know how youll feel about having your own kids (which is very different than nieces or nephews) until you actually have them.
Ive found your take on lemmy more common though, not sure if its the individualist bias here or something else.
Nice notion, but won’t work.
Those people will happily list every women they know, however distant.
Many men don’t even have a concept for this kind of “trust”.Just what kind of trust you need? Many trust me, they also think I’m a moron and look down on me.
My girlfriend trusts me pretty much with her life, I think. Her mom, trusts me not to rob their house since I have a key (she lives with her parents) All the women I have a work related relationship with trust me at least to the extent of being in the same room together, I’m sure.
So yeah, not hard to think of people who have an amount of trust to say the very least, but yeah, I too wonder how much trust the question is really asking about.
It’s just like saying “I could care less” - pretty sure a lot of women I know COULD trust me less, than they currently do. Which means there is at least a minimal amount of trust there.
