Just as the title says, tell me your most recent dream and I will perform a dream analysis of dubious distinction. Trust me I’m an expert.
I dreamt I was petting the kitties outside my hotel room I woke up happy then sad that I didn’t actually pet the kitties.
Analysis: You like kitties and they like you.
Yay!
I had a dream last night where I had to move my wedding ring from my left hand to my right hand, but I couldn’t because my right hand was swollen.
Analysis: You or someone very close to you, like parents, children or spouse is telling your brain something isn’t right physically. Something has changed, it is small and nearly imperceptible, but risks developing into something worth dealing with.
Get a physical.
I was having doggy-style sex with my mother but when she turned around to look at me it was my dad’s face!! /s
Analysis: Your body is telling you you need more outdoor exercise. For your health and socializing with new, like minded people.
Join a running club.
So I was like chilling in my bedroom and then ex-boss lover is 20 years older than me that I haven’t talked to in almost a year Walked in my front door, and then three other people I apparently worked with, one of them with a baby came in and I started juggling trying to talk to all these people, three which I didn’t even recognize where I knew them from, one that hasn’t talked to me since I kind of blew them off. I proceed to try to clean up my room enough to find spots for them all to chill including getting a chair that was in the wrong corner of the room nice getting, the trash from the depression Piles off the floor and getting the comforter on right. I’m not sure what all happened, but I remember waking up when these big creepy fucking white caterpillar things that were like bigger than tomato worms started dropping down off the ceiling and onto the bed, and then I realized I’d already been rolling around on some of them on the bed, and some of them were like fucking spiders and shit that were really big and there were these big mushy spots of half writhing insects, and still things dropping off the ceiling slow enough just to be disgusting and terrifying at the same time. And I remember the three people I allegedly worked within the dream, the one of which had a baby or something being like okay, It’s time to go, and I was thinking they just got here and in between being confused and terrified as fuck.
I woke up and I still haven’t been back to bed yet. I just decided to get up, eat some fucking crap ass freezer food, make myself a White Russian and start tackling installing fit girl repacks and their updates on Fedora. Fuck my life and fuck giant white caterpillars.
I do think I remember making a comment in my dream like okay fuck. I’m going to clean my room that’s for fucking sure before, right before I woke up.
Like fuck my life man. I guess that was some kind of Halloween dream or some shit but fuck that
Analysis: Your sexual desires are both sophisticated and complex. You suspect it’s not the kind of thing you can do on your own. You want to recruit like minded partners <-plural, but you are afraid that true deep satisfaction will ellude you because you fear even your open minded partners will find you too freaky for even them. Your fears are real, so partner selection should be taken with care. Go slow. Have fun. Play safe.
Well thank God. At least it’s not about my mother lol
I never said that. You did. I only do dream analysis, not freudian slips. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I don’t know who she was, only that she certainly wasn’t my mother.
You keep bringing her up. O.k. fine, we’re going Freudian.
So tell me more about the relationship you have with your mother. Would you describe her as someone who is generally attractive?
This is Salvador Dali level stuff
This made me soooooo happy weed stops me dreaming.
The real question is what recent dream I had that I’d be willing to share with strangers on a public forum lol
Hmm… well there is this one where I dreamt I was hanging out with a friend at a convention, and they gave me a guitar and asked me to play something, except I haven’t played any guitar since I was like… 11, and so then I almost cried, cause I was nervous
Analysis: You are afraid of fame and fortune because your talents exceed your desires. Stay grounded, do good work, but let your talents shine.
because your talents exceed your desires.
I wish haha :3
I’ll take that analysis tho, uwu
I snuck into the campus of my former workplace, a manufacturing facility. I cut down a number of non-native plants growing in the surrounding courtyard. Maintenance discovered what I was doing and notified security. Everyone was okay with removing the plants because they were growing near high voltage lines and causing electrical arcing. There was concern about having to pay me overtime and back wages. While they were discussing what to do, I made a large pile of vegetation and then snuck away.
Analysis: Work forces you to act against your ethical standards. You know your colleagues feel the same way, but won’t publicly back you for fear of reprisals. Rather than lead the charge for change, your subconscience knows the real path is is to start your own enterprise as direct competition. Your ethical standards will ensure your long term success as a competitive advantage, but don’t waste time trying to recruit your past colleagues out of familiarity. They are still cowards.
Impressively close but wrong!
Again, I am never wrong. My shitty dream analysis is 100% guarenteed to be shit, or your money back. I delivered in spades.
Nope, it’s too close to be shit, shine on you crazy diamond.
Any actual non-shitty elements are purely coincidental and by extension fall outside of the intended reflections the analysis supported. My analysis is correct and completely shitty. In other words, your interpretation of my interpretation was total shit, ipso facto the guarentee has been fulfilled.
Aw, shit.
I dreamt I was back in the city I went to University in. I heard a loud beep then the world froze in place before I woke up
Analysis: You long for the person you had a crush on in Uni, but never acted upon it. Before you could dream of the possibilities of a missed opportunity, your alarm clock woke you up.
I was on a sailing ship trying to deliver a very important package. For some reason, a wooden tall ship was the only ship that would work for this specific task.
There was a talking chicken in the crow’s nest named Winona who informed me that she got the job because chickens don’t get seasick.
… and apparently, according to a chicken-keeper on c/NoStupidQuestions, that’s actually quite plausible.
You feel adrift, or directionless in life. There are many places you want to go, things you want to do and goals to accomplish. What you don’t have is a solid plan to get there. In the absence of said plan, you’ll reach out to any idiot for guidance. Not that you’ll take the guidance to heart, or even act on it. Just that you’ll listen to anything from anyone for inspiration on charting your own course, no matter how shitty the advice or person giving it. You won’t judge or push away the people around you, but you will make up your own mind. Anyone can come along with you for the journey, for as long as your paths stay aligned.
Hatsune Miku wanted a haircut
Analysis: You need to get out more.
I dreamed my small elderly terrier jumped into a wide stream and sank to the bottom and didn’t come up as soon as I expected him to. I jumped in, found him tangled in water weeds at the bottom, and pulled him out. I held him upside down to let water stream out of him. He coughed up a silver-green frog.
My dog IRL hates water.
The circle of life is going to reveal itself. Someone close is either having a baby, or someone is going to say goodbye and leave an inheritance. Maybe both. Could be the same person, but not neccessarily.
A rich white person with green eyes will approach you and your dog on your walk, they will ask to pet your dog. Do not let them.
I was in a hotel room doing one of those clone-a-willie kits. Then I noticed that the mold had coloured my hands blue. Then I had a look downstairs, and Petteri jr was blue, too.
Analysis: You are afraid to love yourself. You sometimes feel like you’re not worthy, and that acts of self care will alienate you from your circle.
Understand that you and your circle are all metaphorical smufs. Being blue is normal. Take good care of yourself and of them. Being your natural you, is your best you.
People keep coming into my house. At first, they were coming in to steal things. I would catch them in the act of stealing something, and sometimes I would get back what they were trying to take, and sometimes they would just look at me and walk away, and I was unable to stop them. Other times people would just walk through my house like it was a shortcut to somewhere else, and when I would ask them to stop doing that, they would just look at me like, why would we? Why would we stop doing this? Sometimes people come in and then they leave their children there. And then I’m left, exasperated, trying to figure out what i’m supposed to do with these children they’ve left behind. Later the children will just disappear.
I try to stop all of this from happening by checking the doors to make sure they’re locked, checking all the windows to make sure they’re closed and locked and secure, yet no matter what I do, people just get in. They never have to force their way in. There’s no sign of any break-in. They just seem to be able to effortlessly open doors that are locked. They always act like they belong there. They show no sign of being alarmed that I’ve discovered them. My distress at all this is extreme.
Another dream I have is reoccurring. I materialize into a large indoor facility, sometimes it’s a massively huge mall. Sometimes it’s a massively huge library. Sometimes it’s some sort of museum. It’s always some indoor huge building. I appear there suddenly with no memory of how I got there, and I realize quickly that it is an indoor death march. The building is packed full with people. And we’re all required to walk endlessly. If anyone stops to sit down or talks too much they disappear. They either just literally disappear, or they are led away by a group of people, and they are never seen again. We can talk to one another, but it has to be very brief and very quiet. We walk in an endless loop, never stopping, never knowing why we’re there and what’s going on. I look for doors and windows, but there are none. Every once in a while I’ll see a person I know, and we will try to talk to a each other and then be immediately drawn away by two groups of people. Everyone is exhausted and most are openly hostile. Many seem to be unable to form thoughts or ideas.
I await your shitty, dubious analysis, oh expert of dreams, as you are my only hope.
Two dreams is dangerous. I’ll let this one slide because they don’t contradict, each other but rather reinforce the same picture.
Analysis: You are tired of people using you as their mental model during sexual fantasies. Somewhere a couple of many years is making love with above average prowess that suprises even them. it’s because one of them, perhaps even both of them, are fantasizing being with you instead. There is someone from work/school who fantasizes about you when they masturbate. There are more than a few who do this. Not all of them are even close or acquaintances. You have subconsciously picked up on actions, behaviours and pheremones from so many people who are aroused by you, but you are frustrated because it never manifests itself in your lovelife. Intimacy is a two way street, and even that complete stranger on the street who casually watched you walk by is going to self pleasure themselves to the thought of you.
They take, take take and never give. What your subconcious already knows, but your conscious self isn’t ready to accept is this. You are unconventionally very attractive. Your puritanical ideas of love and intimacy is making you miss out on your best opportunities for a satisfying life. Somepeople were meant to be “the one” for someone. That’s not you. You are at you best when and happiest when you share yourself broadly.
Whether you want to take up your passion/purpose as a vocation or just as a hobby, the world is a better place when you, and your many admirers are sated in the flesh. Ease up on your prudish ways. Learn to relax. Learn that intimacy can be casual without strings yet be deeply satifying. There isn’t enough of you to go around, and you shouldn’t even try. Just accept that when you want to get out there, there is an army of wonderful people who have the same idea as you.
O fanciful and wise, Cappuccinocoretto, your reply was much better than what the Ouija board told me. I hope I have not misinterpreted your directives to not take myself so seriously, laugh more, and sleep with more strangers. I will consider them on the advice of my cat therapist.
They aren’t my directives. Your dreams are a window to the truth you already know. Dreams are pre-processing of events with a keen mix of intuition and observation in exquisite detail without the rational and logical filters of reality. They reveal truths if you know how to interpret them.
I learned to interpret dreams from a now defunct private career college in a strip mall. I took the advanced placement route because I could complete a 4 year degree with majors in Psychology and Sociology with dual concentrations in dream analysis in only 8 weeks part time.
Unfortunately, I completed the coursework, attended the lectures, wrote the exams and defended my thesis successfully, but right before convocation as valedictorian the Institution was shuttered. Something about student loan fraud and a fledgling sex cult. The Dean of Arts and Science said I’ll get my paperwork and credentialing as soon as he is out of prison. He is a nice guy. We keep in touch in spite of the restraining order against contacting former students.
Fucked my whole day up today. I was with a romantic partner, we got accosted at a gas station by two guys one grabbed her and had a gun to her head. I shot him and called her by the wrong name and she started crying and left. I called the cops, then my parents to let them know. Mom’s best friend answered the phone and was super cheerful, which is not like her at all. I went in the gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes. Cops never came.
Analysis: You are aprehensive about some negative and chaotic forces in your life that you can’t control. You are worried about what you are capable of if push comes to shove. You don’t want to become that person, fearful about what you will think about yourself and what other will think about you.
You are even more worried if you are forced to become a monster you loath, that others will think nothing of it. If those in your circle can accept a monster who was forced to become something terrible like it was normal, who are these people you’ve let into your life?
Insightful, thanks.
Complete shit, 100%.
That reads like a movie by the bastard son of Jim Jarmusch and Woody Allen
Definitely had some coffee and cigarettes vibes.
Exactly !
Hey why not, I’ll bite.
I’m walking through the woods next to a creek in a place I used to go as a kid. It’s deep in the woods, there’s not supposed to be anything around. I come across a porta potty tipped over on its side and half covered by brush. Weird, what the hell is this doing out here? I keep walking and start coming across abandoned digging equipment with badging on it that shows it belongs to the federal government. Everything is overgrown and no one is around, but it shouldn’t be here and I’m getting this really bad feeling because it’s been years since I was here but none of this stuff was here then and what was the government doing in the woods here, it’s just woods? I cross the creek and am walking on the other side, still next to it but up on a hill a little bit, still in the woods. The creek is gentle and shallow, only a few feet deep. I keep walking, and in the middle of the creek is a huge square, about 10 feet by 10 feet, with metal sides that are just high enough to keep the water from going into it. The entire bottom is a grate, and I can see from where I am at that it’s designed to raise up and below there’s a circular staircase going deep into the ground. Suddenly the bad feeling I have turns into pure terror. This is what the digging equipment was for, but what the hell did they do? Why is there a staircase in the middle of the creek? Where does it go? Why is it in the middle of these woods, where there’s not even a road or even a proper path anywhere close, and why not have it next to the creek instead of in the creek where it would flood anytime it rained and the water level rose? Part of me wants to go over and look down the staircase, and the other part of me wants to run away, because even though it looks abandoned, it just feels wrong and I’m so terrified for some reason. The dream ended with me wading through the creek to stand over the grate looking down the staircase as it winded down into the dark. I couldn’t see the bottom but I could hear machinery far below.
What you are describing sounds like caissons construction. Support pillars that go into water to support things like bridges or even offshore wind turbines. But that isn’t what your dream is about.
Analysis: You are subconciously aware on some level that something has violated what you consider sacred. You feel violated, angry and anxious over where this may lead. Whoever or whatever has transgressed you with the profane is even more outrage inducing because whatever was gained by the offender(s), is far outweighed by what they too lost. It’s senseless, reckless wanton destruction of what you hold most dear.
You are trying to process a response, but haven’t done so yet. Fight, flight, enlist allies? You don’t yet know what’s possible, let alone optimal.
We arrived at some place and we all had backpacks. I wanted to leave my backpack in the car but the people I was with insisted we bring them in with us. We get to like a lobby or something and are informed that no backpacks are allowed, and he offers us a small cubby to put the backpacks in. My friends (I guess? I don’t remember who these people were) started arguing that it was too small, and the host kept offering us larger and larger storage spaces, until it was basically a walk-in closet, but my companions were still complaining.
Your life is in transition, and you haven’t decided which of many paths before you you want to take. You risk rejecting all paths foreward and could stall. Staying for a short spell isn’t always a bad thing, but be careful of losing momentum and growing complacent.
Thank you CapuccinoCoretto! For a free shitty analysis, I gotta say this was pretty on-the-nose. 😜
