I’m going Orange. I feel like all of the others would naturally follow.
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Eye color. Though the five dollarydoos are tempting.
The black teleport one. You rob a bank and then teleport away so you can’t be tracked? The means of escape is usually how they track you down. So, suddenly being able to teleport thousands of miles in a moment?
Also, it’d be really useful for interstellar stuff. You only need enough fuel, food, and air to go one way. Strap me onto the rocket to Mars! I’d even hop back with huge sacks of Mars rocks to give to NASA. We’ve figured out the trek to Mars, its the getting back that’s been the problem.
If I could teleport other people into a Tool music video, this wins hands down.
Obviously I’m teleporting to Albania.
“Albanian Transporter” would be a pretty sick nickname of an assassin whose movements seem to defy the laws of physics.
Sounds like a perverse sex move to me.
The problem being that if your are out of the country (and you can’t teleport back to anywhere else), you now need to explain to the authorities how you managed to get in without a movement record.
Although it might be useful if you are a local and just need to dodge a bullet or escape a mugging by random teleportation.
Red, can I also change each eye to a different colour?
Sure, why not, go crazy.
Uhmmmm can I also teleport back from Albania? If so, then sure. I hate travelling so I never really go far, being able to go to Albania and back at the blink of an eye would be chill. Going for a nice lunch walk and then teleport back. Otherwise I’ll go with the eye colour I guess, the rest is useless.
Maybe I’m reading it wrong, but it’s a one way ticket?
What would you even do with it?
Impress my dates, of course!
“Look at this, babe” *arm turns purple*
“Oh god…”
“I know. You wait and see what else does that! ;)”
The Cantonese speaking dog is pretty cool. I like the Albania teleporting till I realized I need to get out of Albania
Red. My eye colour already changes randomly, although less often and more subtly than it did when I was younger.
I’d love to be able to control it and confuse people.
ur telling me I can get a /home command and all I need to do is become Albanian?
People here talk about doing crime with the black pill, but I would instead just be the perfect astronaut.
Think about it, they could shoot you in space without having to think about how to get you back. No landing, no parachute, just a one way rocket launch.
Space agencies would be practically forced to hire you on the spot.
You underestimate the vastness of space and the reach we have with current technology.
Not having to worry about return frees up a lot of delta-v budget. Less need for supplies frees up more. It’d massively improve payload.
Can you bring anything with you? Is it a naked thing or do you bring clothes? What counts as clothes? Can you ‘wear’ a two tonne rock? Etc
Anything you bring back has to be internal.
make it a 1 ton rock
Alllll the way up, Morty.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Is skin internal?
Yes but it sounds like it is going to be more useful for scientist than it is going to be for you who will be left with the boredom.
There’s a lot of room for interpretation with purple, but 80 million people speak Cantonese. I would be a fool not to take it.
Nice.
Now good luck teaching the dog to understand your language. It’s brain is already overloaded.
And you’ll now have to learn Cantonese too, to understand what it is saying (better than no language though).
Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.
And they’ll be waiting for you in Tarana Albania, every time.
Everywhere? The first thing I would do is take a 3 month vacation and scout the entire city.
Best chances are to bribe the politicians and police, then you can get away with a lot.
Showing up with armfuls of bribes each time should help.
Staying anonymous would be the best way though, especially if your goings try it more than once.
Nobody said your stuff teleports. Just you. Don’t be greedy.
It didn’t say that anywhere. Next thing is that the dog doesn’t actually speak Cantonese but only understands it.
This is like the inverse of the trope of genies twisting your wish around.
His barks are the equivalent of the barks of a actual dog in Cantonese speaking regions.
Speaks Cantonese, but the “dog accent” is so thick that nobody can understand
That goes for clothes too. So you arrive nude.
If you have the confidence to pull it off, you’ll get the party started every single time.
Spawn camping
You get a 5 second invulnerability when you spawn though, so just start blastin
Only if they knew that’s where I went
I think they’d catch on to me after I got flagged 5 times in one year leaving Albania with no record of entering the country in between.
Albania will probably join the eu in 2030. Wait 5 years, then simply live somewhere in the eu, maybe even do most of your crimes in the eu, and you won’t ever run into border checks.
get an apartment closest to the teleport place, travelling is now cheaper as you never have to worry about the way back.
The teleport place is Tirana, Albania. Nobody said the same spot in Tirana, Albania every time. Your real estate investment was rash and very rarely saves you time. But it does increase in value a tiny bit, so eh you’re fine.
still useful for international travel, no need to get a return ticket.
You wouldn’t need a parachute to go skydiving either. Just teleport yourself before you hit the ground.
Unless your momentum doesn’t reset.
Can’t you just keep teleporting till you’re close enough to your home?
Good point. Though it might be taxing on your body?
I can get a dog I can talk to with a translator app? Hell yeah
Right?I will learn Cantonese to be able to talk to my dog.
Your dogs says: Bow wow wow yippie yay yippie yo.
Now that I think about it, Im the spare human. They would just speak to me like if they were the protagonists in a 1970’s Kung Fu movie and Im Pai Mie. “Filthy Ape! Once I defeat you, I will sleep next to mother, and you will sleep in hell! I would also like to be let out…”
