Screw that, make Modesty Blaise
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Is her own character, so wouldn’t get labeled “the female James Bond.”
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Has a cooler back story than James Bond
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Has a cool cast of supporting characters
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Is canonically awesome at martial arts, but will use guns when pressed
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Already has a bunch of books and comics to use as source material
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Has at least as many sexual adventures as Bond
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Has a long-time male partner with whom she is emphatically not in a romantic relationship or a Will-they-won’t-they situation
Why does she look like Ghislaine Maxwell?
This why not make new franchises instead of gender sealing a character. There are so many stories out there why tell he same ones just gender or race swapped. Tell new ones that feature the gender or race you want.
The reason why the industry regurgitates IP is because the general public and the industry are lazy as fuck.
You could make a brand new super hero but it won’t be as popular as retelling the Batman origin story for the 30th time.
Same goes for James Bond. I personally think if they want to continue that universe, and introduce a female spy as lead. Just create a new character, give her the number 005, and make the damn movie. I don’t want a 007 Jane Bond but I’m down with a 005 Jane Smithe. Retrofit some shit about James training her before he died. Put Craig in flashbacks or something, and go from there. Hell, you could even make it Moneypenny. In the universe they had a working relationship, she worked in the field with Bond in the previous movies, and maybe she is promoted to 005 after he died. The first movie could be her transition to spydom, learning the ropes, getting promoted, and stumbling into some super villain storyline - which isn’t fully resolved at the end for the next movie. I’d totally watch Naomie Harris as 005 kicking ass and taking names.
Of course you know that won’t happen. They’ll do the bullshit they did in No Time to Die.
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Maybe a plot featuring Bond’s daughter could be cool. She wants to find out about her dad she never met and gets pulled into the spy world.
But why lesbian though? Shouldn’t she just fuck twinks and make them straight
It’s anachronistic that this is still a part of it, but womanizing is integral to bond- Daniel Craig pulled it off without the chauvinism from earlier Bonds, but still seduces women like nobody’s business. A woman turning twinks is a different kind of problematic, and is not really identifiable for the core audience of Bond fans.
Straight men can identify with at least one party in the situations of someone relentlessly seducing women or a woman relentlessly seducing straight men. I could see the latter working on that level, but there’s a lot of cultural baggage that comes with a woman pursuing sex with men, and that might distract from the rest of the movie. We can only get rid of barriers by breaking them down, but I don’t know if it would be as commercially successful :|
not really identifiable for the core audience of Bond fans
Ahhh… I forgot the part where we’ve stopped talking about weirdness for the sake of weirdness and started talking about profits.
Oh, I mean, yeah, if we’re just talking about what would be fun, I’d honestly prefer if she were incredibly attractive inadvertently and Mr. Magoo seduced a bunch of all kinds of people without intending to or noticing. I do think the idea in the post would actually be makeable though, and I think that would be lost without womanizing.
Lmaoooo
I hate you and wish you had left the internet today
The world is ready for a Bond Girl who is a beautiful twink.
Now, Euronews Culture can officially end all speculation by revealing that the identity of the new James Bond is… Irish actress and singer Jessie Buckley.
You read correctly: James Bond will be played by a woman for the first time, in the wake of Lashana Lynch briefly taking over the 007 mantle in Daniel Craig’s Bond swansong, 2021’s No Time To Die.
Buckley rose to fame following her role as Rose-Lynn Harlan in Tom Harper’s Wild Rose (2018). The 36-year-old followed that critically acclaimed turn with I’m Thinking of Ending Things, The Lost Daughter, Men and The Bride!, before taking home the Oscar for Best Actress this year for her performance in Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet.
She therefore becomes the first Oscar-winning performer to be cast as Bond.
More casting news was also revealed, with Tom Hiddleston playing the franchise’s first Bond boy - named Fitty McCrotch – and the new M is set to be portrayed by none other than Gillian Anderson. Both frankly inspired choices.
Thanks for reposting April’s fools
I’d totally watch this in theaters. Also hot. But also fuck vodka martinis. Toxic lesbian James bond would drink pure gin, call it a martini and the only thing she’s eaten that day is about 30 olives and some pussy. She may have some olive juice in her gin solely to make a pass at the bartender by calling it dirty.
One deeply underrated aspect of this post is a woman taking the name James. Women have taken Leslie, and Ashley, and so many other names. But James, an apostle, the brother of Christ! If this can happen, then women can take Paul, even Peter. Because why not!
Because Paula, Petra?
I was born for this role
And please let her be played by Charlize Theron.
I’d be okay with it not being exactly as toxic as James Bond… I think people are forgetting how many times he outright rapes women in those movies. Including one time in GoldFinger where he raped a lesbian who became straight afterwards, because you know… “Lesbians are just women who haven’t been fucked by the right man”.
We could also do all of that in an original IP. Why does it always has to be a reboot or a sequel or a remake or any other regurgitation
The bond series is the one series that can just be endlessly rebooted.
Most stories have an ending, coming back doesn’t make sense. I’m not even a fan, but bond is forever.
There is political strength in doing it like the last line said and using the established franchise.
“But why subvert when you could merely amuse?”
I was raised to believe that there are no stupid questions, so I am choosing to regard this as a non-query.
Did you read the last line?
At first I was like “no” then I got to the second paragraph. I’d watch this for sure.
If, and only if, no one ever references the rest of the Bond canon jokingly. Everyone just plays it perfectly straight. No nods at the camera, nothing. Just like we all looked past the Bond actor changing in the past, everyone is just like “Yeah. That’s Bond.”
Hell, have her leave flowers at Tracy’s grave.
Hell, have her leave flowers at Tracy’s grave.
What, no “This never happened to the other guy?” for a new face?
Even the male Bonds didn’t all do that.
Remember?
“This never happened to the other fella” James Bond On her Majesty’s secret service when Lazenby was the actor.
He must be referring to the tires squealing on sand
Let’s take it one step further, and we have precedent in the 1980s:
This is an amazing picture
This is fire. Support Women’s Wrongs, not just their Rights
Reading your comment gave me whiplash from the cultural difference of James Bond and a trendy word with 12 year olds from 5 years ago. Every generation will have words that are popular and a few of those are fine, anyone using the word “fire” like you have is absolutely not one of those, especially now when you couldn’t even blame it on trying to be trendy. It was always an excruciatingly “I’m 9 years old and trying to sound cool” word and you should cringe qqt yourself for the rest of your life for not realising that.
This chud is crashing out ;)
The only appropriate response to this lmao
Every generation says this about the next generation’s slang. The world has moved on from you, you should accept that.
“Fire” is kind of a dated millennial term by this point anyway. Gen Z would be calling this “Bondpilled” or some shit lmfao
Femmebond is sigma pilled? can someone put an LLM to good use and make me a gen z translator
Radical dude!
Far out!
You are 11 days old, calm down
Ahahahahahaha. Why do i reply to you? I’m sorry your vocabulary is so limited. Have you read anything on a printed page like ever?
5 years is plenty of time for language to spread to other groups. Every in my millennial group accepts this as standard parlance.
Don’t be a square. Neologisms are cool/rad/sick/lit/fire.
Or should we stick to only using the shibb that the previous generation thought was ““cringe”” to borrow your own use of a neolog there.
🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️
This is not a fire take. Straight up. Big L lil bro.
Or a gay James Bond man who sleeps with all the other men.
“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No Mr Bond. I expect you to cum!”
Or an ace James Bond who isn’t distracted by tits and dicks and just does his fucking job. Still a raging alcoholic because ace tho.
You must be talking about the Sean Connery inspired character in The Venture Bros
Including the villains, with equally cheesy name-based gags.
“I see they don’t call you ‘blo’-feld for nothing ;)”
